You have probably heard one or more horror stories about going through a divorce. Now that you see that your marriage is coming to an end, you fear that you will head for an acrimonious divorce of your own. But it does not have to be this way, especially if you and your spouse do not feel negatively towards each other.
There are alternatives to hashing out your divorce in court. You and your spouse may work things out in mediation. This method may benefit you not only because it is often less expensive than a court battle, but it may help you and your spouse avoid anger and stress that you do not currently feel.
Reasons for breaking up
As Psychology Today explains, many marriages do not end because of spousal betrayal, but because the spouses no longer share affectionate feelings for each other or they have found different paths in life. If a couple breaks up due to anger or pain, those emotions will likely carry over into the divorce. But if you and your spouse have simply grown apart, you may prefer a collaborative method of divorcing that will not spark negative feelings between you two.
The structure of a court proceeding requires judges to rule on specific points of law. A judge may not be able to consider your feelings or your individual circumstances. As a result, you may feel pressed to fight for what you can get out of the divorce. This can drag out a divorce and increase both the emotional and financial costs of ending your marriage.
By contrast, mediation encourages cooperation. A mediator facilitates talks between you and your spouse and will not impose a solution. So the need to compete is likely to diminish. You may craft a solution that fits your circumstances. You and your spouse might even feel the emotional satisfaction of having resolved your divorce without having somebody do it for you.