How can you tell your ex wants to alienate you from your children?

If you recently went through a divorce and suspect that your former partner makes false statements about you towards your children, you could be a victim of parental alienation. 

According to Healthline, parental alienation occurs when one parent uses strategies to create a distance between you and your children. 

Be wary of secrecy and gossip

Alienators want to keep the other parent out of the children’s life. Unfortunately, children have a higher likelihood of retaining a close relationship with the patent who knows the most about them. Knowing this, the alienator will hoard information about your children’s friends, interests, grades and medical care. While keeping secrets from you, he or she may dig for information about you. 

For example, if you have a new partner in your life, your ex-spouse may ask questions about him or her. In addition, your ex may gossip with your children about how long he or she thinks you’ll stay with your new partner. 

Listen for your ex’s words

Your children will judge you without judging your ex. Generally, their anger towards you will come from information that you didn’t share. The alienator may share personal details about your relationship to make your children upset with you. Even if it is a personal situation between you and your ex, the alienator pulls the children into it. 

Children often repeat what they hear. If they need a reason to be upset with you, you may hear them repeat what your spouse says about you. Your children may use adult language or have information they should not have. 

In serious cases of parental alienation, your ex may try to keep your child from seeing you.